FitFlop, the Fashionless Way to Look Good

We were rolling in the aisles when this gem showed up in our mailbox being pushed by none other than the mighty Amazon.com. Apparently, The Jimmy was onto something with his shoes that train you to jump higher.

There's a new company on the scene and their name, which we think should be Tacky Toes but is actually FitFlop purports to offer the ultimate in passive exercise. How it can be better than sitting there watching TV with electrodes attached to your muscles is beyond us, but they offer seven "motivating" reasons for you to get your own pair:

1. FitFlop midsoles incorporate patent-pending micro-wobbleboard^TM technology, to give you a workout while you walk.
   You're not alone if you read that as "waterboard technology" at first. We thought that maybe Dick Cheney had found his calling after being dragged out of the President's --oops, we mean Vice President's-- office.
2. Every step you take in your FitFlops helps tone and trim your legs.
3. FitFlops work your bum muscles more.
4. FitFlops have been shown to have a significant effect on the toning muscles of your thighs.
5. Walking in FitFlops is like walking barefoot, but a little bit better.
6. FitFlops make it easier to stay in shape.

Seriously, nothing says "I don't care how I look" better than a wide-soled ugly-logoed shoe that's supposed to make you look better.

Good luck with this one, kids, we predict you'll be FitFlopping your way to bankruptcy in the not-so-distant future.